Posts tagged Bad News

Beware of the Bears

Not only can they smell menstruation from 6 miles away, they are now trained in Kung Fu! Run for your lives!

Noemie Lenoir in M&S Lingerie

Lingerie Model in Suicide Bid

French supermodel Noemie Lenoir, best known for advertising Marks & Spencer lingerie in recent campaigns, is recovering after what appears to be a suicide attempt. She was found unconscious lying in a forest on the outskirts of Paris beside a pile of pills and an empty bottle of spirits.

Noemie Lenoir in M&S LingerieIt is believed the lingerie model called an ambulance for herself claiming she ‘felt very ill’ but then made a second call to cancel the ambulance shortly after. Friends suggested that Ms Lenoir’s turmoil may well have been linked to her relationship with multi-millionaire Carl Hirschmann, who is involved in a sex and extortion scandal in Switzerland. Hirschmann, a notorious playboy, has been accused by police of being involved in orgies with young models whom he is said to have plied with vodka-based cocktails called ‘Love Potion’ before videoing them in depraved sex acts.

She also has a 5 year old son with former Chelsea footballer Claude Makelele, and was at his £1million detached home on the day of the incident.

couple on the sofa

18 Million Brits Injured by Sex

Not all at once obviously. That would be madness. We don’t just go running around having massive sex parties you know. We have office jobs and Facebook poking to do. But when we do we are gentlemen (and ladies) about it. We go all out. Maybe splash out on some new lingerie for our better halves and get some candles to set the scene. Well maybe not. Whatever we do, this story makes it sound like we are doing it wrong.

Thinking of getting lucky? Better think twice, especially if its on your furniture.

couple on the sofa

Yes it was reported this week that around one third of the British people have suffered an injury while having sexual relations. 40% also admit to breaking a household item during intercourse. This suggest to me that we are either really rubbish at sexy times or we are strangely aggressive.

“Sex is a risky business these days. There are numerous hazards in and around the home which can inflict severe injuries if people aren’t careful. We were amazed to find out that even the bedroom can prove a hazardous location for certain people. Our advice would be to remove any dangerous objects well before you plan to start making love and take care while in the act.” Claims a spokesman from the survey.

Household furniture was deemed some of the more dangerous places to ‘do it’. The most recorded places of injuries was on sofas, followed by stairs, cars, showers and the bedroom.

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